Today, I think I lost the post-vacation brain glow. That’s ok, though, since I’ll be going to Japan in less than a month. We’ve settled back into routine, that routine that made me so happy and content right before Read more

The first day we got to Moldova, the DJ at the restaurant that night played “Last Night A DJ Saved My Life.” We were trying to get him to play Sprinter by Dave and Central Cee, but he didn’t Read more

I was talking to my boyfriend yesterday on the phone. A long time ago, maybe last year, he said that if his life was a song, this would be the bridge–the melody is different, things are a little jumbled, Read more

I know I’m messy. Showing up drunk at your ex’s apartment at midnight and opening the door (why wasn’t it locked) and seeing him with his arm around his coworker in the chair you bought for him might not Read more

I’m trying to break a curse. I’m not sure if it’s generational, or self-inflicted, or picked up from somewhere, but I assume it’s all three. It’s a three-pronged menace and I feel as if I’ve been cracking it apart, Read more

Now that I’m older and my dreams a little more dead, I realize the importance of being outside. I think about how the relationship I have with my mom is changing, and how I put undue pressure on myself–I’m Read more

So I made a mistake by not telling my boyfriend I had herpes when we first met. Granted, I had basically forgotten about it and granted, I was pretty sure from all my reddit research that the herpes I Read more

I don’t know why occasionally I try to deny some parts of myself. Like right now. I decided to smoke weed. And write. I think that’s one of the things that makes me afraid to write is the fact Read more

I’m not sure where to start today. But I mean honestly, do I ever really know where to start? What is this even about? What am I trying to accomplish here? Like, what is this for, who is this Read more

“I learned just as much from them as they learned from me. I’m a cold motherfucka though. But the people I’m with are cold too, they’re a reflection of that. Become a cold motherfucka and the motherfucka will just Read more

I’m sitting on the roof with a bottle of wine. Inside, my overpriced Marshall speaker is playing “The Metronome” by Pinegrove. I can hear it through the window. Kirsten Stewart has a tattoo commemorating Pinegrove. Kirstin Stewart also cheated Read more

They’re playing SZA’s CTRL in this coffeeshop, which is very topical to me right now. Last time I found out I was a guy’s side chick a little over a year ago, I listened to this album on repeat Read more

I’ve been thinking about radicalism lately. Radical honesty, radical empathy–those kinds of things. Lately the pit in my stomach–the kind that makes it hard to eat and sleep, a dull ache that is probably unhealthy for you but goes Read more

It’s 5:40 AM. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I got taken off the schedule at work–something I knew had to happen but nonetheless made the bottom of my stomach drop out, like some sort of prolapse that has Read more

I’m not sure where to start. I could start with my feelings of trying to vindicate myself: of trying to convince myself, prove to my own body, that people don’t realize how susceptible they are to the pressure of Read more

First off I would like to say that I am immensely grateful for all the friends supporting me in my decision to tell Eyelash’s girlfriend that she was cheating on him, with me. For over a year. To the Read more

It’s nearly seven am, the perfect time for self reflection. There’s a line from billy woods and Kenny Segal’s new album, Maps, on the opener “Kenwood Speakers,” that goes: “Every time things going good or having a laugh, Read more

I’ve definitely ran out of regular creativity, so I’m resorting to drugs instead. I’m definitely getting bit by ants as I sit on this couch. It’s been a problem for around a week now—maybe longer. I can’t even tell Read more

Thinking about things. Holding space here.

Lyrical, poetic genius that goes unrecognized. Keep going. Thinking about all the talented people I know.