Guess What Bitch, We Back Hoe!

eggphrases.com will soon be on Substack, and also still on eggphrases.com. After a brief writing hiatus brought upon by, I don’t know, a massive …

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Here I am just waiting, yeah

What’s up, hoes. Where do I begin? The things I’m been consuming lately: I’m currently, slowly making my way through n+1’s The …

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Truffle story

My dog is worth more to me than most things. Not in the I-love-my-dog-so-much way, but in the …

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Ladies, leave your man at home

Is the club ever jumpin’ at 11:30, like Beyonce says? In Jumpin’, Jumpin’, by Destiny’s Child.  When we were coming back from brunch, I was…

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Dub-i-dub, i-dub-i-dub, bub-bub

The mind really is a breezeway.  There’s a Boiler Room set I watched on YouTube with the most eclectic mix of all time–it was ¥ØU$UK€ …

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When the fuck did Build-A-Bear begin making adult content?

Why is that bunny reading smut on Instagram I was scrolling Instagram today and was bewildered when I saw a stuffed lion sensually pulling down …

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“For someone else’s sake”: the Chimchango interview

Chimchango is a musician and artist currently located in Fontucky, California, where he was born. Chimchango moved to San Antonio in 2006 and …

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Digital girl, from a planet named Earth

The point is to sit down to write. You can think of something you want to write about—something grand, something that speaks some truth to life …

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Oysters in my pocket

Note: the shittily generated image for this post was made by Elementor AI. I believe I was born out of the world, but I understand why many …

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ドキドキするわ Friday night

I’ve been trying to keep mental track of my dreams lately, and I’m finding I’m doing a better job of remembering them, but they’re usually odd and …

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manic producer boyfriend, manically typing girlfriend

Today, I think I lost the post-vacation brain glow. That’s ok, though, since I’ll be going to Japan in less than a month. We’ve settled back into …

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Sometimes I rhyme fast, sometimes I rhyme slow

I was talking to my boyfriend yesterday on the phone. A long time ago, maybe last year, he said that if his life was a song, this would be the …

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Love is a bittersweet poem

By Elizabeth Hammer I’m getting quite bored of feeling this wayThis bittersweet sadness creeps into my good daysAnd I wish I could have been …

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The fragments that were purely displaced. 

By: Elizabeth Hammer My world had been encapsulated by the fragments. My broken bones were scattered all around me. I felt a dull and persistent…

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Missing heart.

By: Elizabeth Hammer  My heart lost its way and my chest burned to ashes, while I sat in disbelief.I don’t know how I managed that …

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I used to be seventeen

Now that I’m older and my dreams a little more dead, I realize the importance of being outside. I think about how the relationship I have with my …

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The Chilling

By: Elizabeth Hammer There was a space in between, A particular void, A certain ache in the heart that felt like a blank page waiting to …

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Waiting for SZA to release LANA

I thought it was going to be released December 15th SZA doesn’t shave her legs. She says so on Ctrl, twice.  First it’s “I’m sorry I …

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There goes my shirt, up over my head

I don’t know why occasionally I try to deny some parts of myself. Like right now. I decided to smoke weed. And write. I think that’s one of the …

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We only keep it real when we joking

“I learned just as much from them as they learned from me. I’m a cold motherfucka though. But the people I’m with are cold too, they’re a …

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